Reading Log

102 pages into 1984
This story evolves around the life of Winston Smith who lives in a totalitarian government. The restrictive,  controlling, and purposeless lifestyles of everyone around him including himself is depressive. Every aspect of life, public and private is controlled and regulated. Every situation is dangerous, and you have to be careful to not speak or think a certain way that speaks revolution or rebellion even if you don't mean to. I have yet to discover the ultimate purpose behind the projects and laws enacted by "The Party." Winston seems to be the only one who notices or acknowledges the oppressiveness and cruelty of the government. But worst than that, he feels like he is the only one with this belief. He knows the lies, the alteration of the past, and the hypnotizing/control of the people done by The Party. Yet, what can he do? He's under their control, and he has to be careful to not get caught (there are telescreens everywhere).

Reading Log: Triangles and Looking For Alaska

35% into Triangles, the ladies in their separate lives are falling further into their detrimental mid-life crisis circumstances. Holly is still attending the writing/critique group assembled in the city, and she still has her mind set on writing erotica (one of her many attempted endeavors). All the while, she has to deal with her hormone-raging teenage daughter who consistently never fails to anger her parents, especially her father. Holly seems to be bored with her family life, and still seeks that adventure that (she thinks) can only be found outside of a typical American family lifestyle. Like everything else in her life, she seeks more from her husband and especially more for herself. Having already cheated on him once now, she takes a different refuge at the writing meetings in which another man has caught her interest. Andrea, the single mom still continues to a seemingly lonely livelihood, and she envies the life her best friend, Holly has. So far, she has been discovering the difficulties of parenthood, especially with Harley, her teenage daughter. Along with that, she has just started a restrictive and hard-core diet with her daughter, and her struggle is evident in her hidden cheats from time to time. Marissa continues to care for her ill daughter by herself, but now her gay son has finally emerged from his time of family abandoment, and he shows a genuine kindness she has not seen since he was a young kid before Sophia was born.

19% into Looking for Alaska, Pudge (Miles) had just been kicked out of class because he was looking out the window distracted form Mr. Hyde's discussion. Alaska stands up for him, and thus follows Pudge outside (Kicked out as well), and later Katumi and the Colonel join the rebellious duo. As we go further into the novel, Pudge's attraction towards Alaska growing. He tenses up and gets nervous whenever she carelessly compliments Miles for being cute or adorable. Colonel and Katumi notice this, but not much is said on their parts.

Note 6: Unmediated experience

Unmediated Experience
BY: BOB HICOK

Bob's poem describes the decaying and saddening relationship between an owner (presumably him) and his dog. The readers are first introduced to his seventeen year old dog who is "mostly deaf", "mostly dead", and has a tendency to do "this thing." The owner explains "this thing" by recalling all the times he would call the dog and the dog would not listen or would obliviously walk away in another direction. The dog would "walk towards the nothing of speech", and would even "[trot] down the the drive, ears up, as if [his] voice [was] coming home." Obviously, this dog has aged and has lost much of his senses, and the imagery of the old and worn dog no longer able to voluntarily obey his owner, creates a mood of lost hope and discouragement.

Twice, the author places references of Christmas and Santa in the poem. He describes the owner experiencing the moment of watching his sick dog like "a child [believing] in Christmas, right before you burn the tree down." The owner must feel excruciating pain as he watches his withering dog fail to respond to his calls, yet every time he calls the dog, he hopes and "thinks, this time she'll turn to me", "this time she'll put voice to face", and "this time, [he'll] be absolved of decay." And this saddening frustration is also described as "being a child who believes in Christmas" but this time "as the tree burns as the drapes catch, Santa [will] light] a smoke with his blowtorch and [ask], want one?" These references of extreme childhood disappointments infers a much more painful reality in which his ailing dog will probably never heal or regain her old self.

Note 5: Now it is fall by EDITH SÖDERGRAN

Now it is fall 

BY: EDITH SÖDERGRAN

The poem's landscape and mother-child scenes are illustrated by the Swedish author's declarative and lyrical style. The first lines of the poem are evident images of the fall season, especially the few short lines describing the child of the poem as observing "all the golden birds [flying] home across the blue deep water." Edith describes the child as being "rapt in its scattering glitter", and the otther imagery of "the [rustling] through the trees (the migrating birds)", and the "vast farewell" and nearing "close" affirms the progression to autumn season. "But [the] reunion, that also is certain" produces the aura of hope the child carries or naturally abides to. 

Within the last stanza of the short poem, the seemingly innocent child "falls asleep easily" on her arm, and on "her eyes" she feels a loving "mother's breath." The warm and tender moment of mother-daughter embrace effuses the mood of unconditional love that can usually be found within such an honorable relationship. And "from [her mother's] mouth to [her] heart", the child hears the words, the last lines of the poem, "sleep, child, and dream now the sun is gone." This final close of the poem draws out the sincere emotional language that exists between this mother and daughter, and also beautifies the scenery of autumn with ernest love. 

Note 4: Esperanza by Judith Otiz Cofer

Esperanza

BY JUDITH ORTIZ COFER

My name mocks me

for I was born at the cost

of my mother’s life,

earning my father’s hatred

with my first breath.

All my life

I have scoured a house soiled

with the thick soot of his resentment.

It has left its mark on the walls,

in his eyes, and on me.

All of it I have tried to wipe away.

In my hands I hold a broom,

in my heart—

ashes, ashes.

The beginning lines of Esperanza, illustrating a girl's birth "at the cost of [her] mother's life" suggests the overwhelming burden the daughter must carry. Her Spanish originated name which means hope "mocks" her for her own existence, and with her "first breath", her livelihood earns nothing more than her "father's hatred." Her grim circumstances depicts a life overwhelmed with constant debt, as though she is in constant pressure to pay for all that she has done, which has only been to live. 


Leading into the second half of the poem, she describes the house she lives in as "soiled with the thick soot of his (her father's) resentment." The oppressive imagery of the emotions of both parties and the setting of the house exclaims that "it has left its mark on the walls, in his eyes, and on [her]." These lines emphasize the isolated and depressive lifestyle she leads, as though during her whole life she has been trying to "wipe [all of the mess] away." The ending scene of the girl holding "a broom in [her] heart", and the very last line of "ashes, ashes" draw the poem to its conclusion, that all of the mess and turmoil is still there, and she can't help but try to cleanse it all away even though it may be useless. 

Reading Log: Looking For Alaska

13% into the book (and also 24% into Triangles), I am enjoying the ongoing activities of the story. Miles is still adjusting to his life here at this boarding school. He shows obvious signs of attraction towards Alaska, and he is developing a friendship with his room mate.

As the story progresses, Miles' character is shown bit by bit. As a welcoming gesture, a couple of boys had thrown him, while tied up into the lake. When his friend Colonel (room mate) finds out about this situation, he is outraged and declares that what they did was extremely dangerous.

I'm looking forward to the progression of Miles and Alaska's friendship. It's quite obvious that there is something between them. Even though she has a long-distant relationship with another boy, I can't help but predict something good for the two teenagers.

Anthology: Notes 2 & 3

1. The Animal Odd Couple

Surfing around on the internet, I found this clip with a title that caught my eye, that showed the relationship between two very different animals. After I had chosen my anthology theme which was relationships, I realized that this theme could extend to animal relationships. In this clip, CBS observes an unusual friendship between an elephant and a dog. In this sanctuary for retired elephants, these animals pair up with one another as best friends. Among these massive elephants are over a dozen stray dogs that also live in the sanctuary. Although both groups usually ignore one another, the dog Bella and the elephant Tara are the best of friends. They have formed a distinct and admiral bond that we should all model ourselves upon.

In the clip, the two inseparable animals are seen roaming around the land together. According to the owner’s reports, the two best friends do everything together like a pair of elephants would. Footage in the woods shows this massive elephant walking down a rummaged path with her fluffy small companion. This sweet moment shown in televised broadcasting brings forth a genuine and unbreakable bond forged by these two animals.

Later in the video, the interviewees discussed a time period when the dog Bella was ill. For three weeks, she suffered from a spinal cord injury, and she lay motionless in the office of the sanctuary building. During this time, Tara stayed in the corner of a high-built fence that bounded the sanctuary office; she waited for her best friend in this little corner of 2700 acres of land. Eventually one of the cofounders started carrying Bella down to the fence daily so that Tara could see her dear friend; every time she was brought down, the two companions were excited and eager to see one another. This ritual continued on until Bella could start walking again. At the end of this clip, the news reporter says one line that puts all of us to shame, “Take a good look, America.” These two glorious animals easily put aside their immense differences and formed an everlasting bond. How is it that they can do it, and we cannot? Why is it so difficult for human beings to at least be peaceful with one another? Perhaps the answer exists very simply by the example set by Bella and Tara. We have the choice to live by this example, but the majority of us are too stubborn to take this much easier path of living.

2. Lost in the Hospital  By: Rafael Campo

A Poem About Friendship

Rafael's powerful, yet simple lines drive out a potent and tender story about friendship. His style is lucid yet the meaning of a few lines behold a delicate ambiguous quality that helps sublimate the theme of the poem. 

He first says "It’s not that I don’t like the hospital." The man seems to not detest the environment, but rather acknowledge and feel indifferent about the "small bouquets of flowers, pert and brave", and "the smell of antiseptic cleansers." Roaming around the hospital this man is lead outside by his friend to take a smoke. The image of patients outside smoking with "IV’s And oxygen in tanks attached to them" is frightful and pitiful. The fact that the ill group of people are further endangering their already "wistful" and ailing health circumstances is grim and saddening.

 As the two friends shared a cigarette and the healthy companion held onto the other's hand which was "Like someone’s keys", the moment of bondage is admirable and more significant than the gloominess of illness and death. And as the sun points down on the two friends, it is as if "they were important, full of life, [and] unbound." In this scene in which they are standing together in the strange "tiny patio for skeletons", the differences between the men are forgotten, and their moment of unity is celebrated in the source of life, the sun. In the final lines of the poem when the man "wandered for a moment where his ribs had made a space for [him]" and he thinks to himself that he is lost beside his friend's "thundering waterfall of [a] heart", this moment reaches the apex of the best of friendships. During that time of embrace or perhaps just profound realization, the man is lost, but it is a good lost; a lost into the journey of their friendship and love in which the beginning is vague and the end may be near, but the memories in between are infinite and the love is forever flourishing. 

Reading Log: Looking For Alaska

During Spring Break I managed to read 11% of Looking For Alaska and a bit of Triangles. I enjoy reading the former, but I'm starting to lost interest in the other.

The main character in Looking For Alaska, Miles Halter is still a mystery. There is still much to discover about him and his new colleagues. What I've learned about him is that he is a scrawny caucasian boy who loves and fascinates over famous last lines. He had lived in Florida with his parents, but now he is in Alabama at Culver Creek, a boarding school. I still have yet to discover his reasons for boarding school. He has explained that his Dad had gone to this high school, and that this decision was his own, but I think Miles is seeking for something more. I think he could be looking for a significant change in his life, and that he wants to start living a life that is more exciting and thrilling rather than staying in his sheltered life back home. Perhaps, he is hoping to live a significant life, be remembered, and speak the most beautiful and famous last words when he passes away.