This American Life Podcast: What I Did For Love

Ira Grass who created This American Life, a weekly radio program, featured a special podcast for this week's universal holiday. In this special Valentine's Day edition, he speaks to Kristy Kruger about her quirky way of dealing with a breakup and to Kurt Braunohler about his thirteen year relationship with a woman.

The interview with Kristy starts out with an introduction as to how long Ira has known her. Having known her for a couple years, he tells the audience that she was having a "hard time” recently and explains further that after a break up with a guy, she continued to love him and began to obsess over him. Describing Kristy as unable to control her emotions for the guy, he gives us details about how her overwhelming feelings were shown through her wild gestures. At first, she thought of serenading him, which she had done before (Kristy is a singer/songwriter). Instead, she wrote letters to him that would never get sent and keep foods that he likes in her freezer along with his favorite pastries. She continued this while having no idea as to why she kept up with these ridiculous engagements. While Kristy affirms these actions, there is a sense of humility and self-deprecation on her part. The audience can relate to her situation in some way whether that be the silly activities or the overwhelming feelings she had for this boy. Yet these redundant gestures were nothing as wild as the “prank” she started and kept on during her drive to different music gigs around the country. As she headed to different gigs, at each place she would write his name on the bathroom walls along with a message as such, “ladies, please help me out. I really want my man back. Please call and tell him his Chalupa really misses him.” She would then leave his number next to the message. Considering how many women could have seen this, the guy must have had many calls and messages. 

Kristy’s behavior may be measured as imprudent and insensible, but maybe she really cannot help herself. She could be the very example of people fallen victims to love, especially unrequited love. Towards the end of the interview, she discusses how after two months of starting this “prank”, the guy sent her a cold text message demanding her to “knock it off with the bathroom walls” and to “Desist with this.” Kristy obliges, and instead approached a more constructive way of moving on, which was by listening to sad old country songs covered by a band called Town Criers. Her second method is a universal method of "moving on" for most girls; a method that may also include ice cream and romantic movies. 

Speaking to Ira, Kurt explains his past situation with this woman he had committed to for thirteen years and whom he had not married during this time. They had a healthy relationship; they loved each other and considered themselves “married” in a sense, yet they never approached the subject of matrimony until one ordinary day of hanging out. In mutual agreement, the couple decided to see other people for a month. They had this stubborn notion that their love could overcome anything. It was their way of testing the strength of their relationship or so they say. After this month of exhilaration and experiences, they extended the month to a few more months. 

Kurt explained how he had experiences he should have had when he was in his 20s. Having spoken to Kurt’s girlfriend, Ira affirms that the girlfriend felt the same. During this period, Kurt discusses how emotional his "encounters" with women were. He was adapted to his custom situation with his girlfriend of associating feelings with making love. These encounters with these strangers were new to him, and he felt astounded yet overwhelmed by it all. He didn't know how to separate his feelings from these situations. The couple had agreed to only see other people and not have relationships with them.  Nevertheless, this was difficult for both parties due to the fact that the two were developing feelings for the strangers they were seeing.The journey that the two endeavored to take on was a risky and wild one, but it did confirm the state of their relationship. 

At the end of the “trials” Kurt had really fallen in love with an Australian woman. Eventually, Kurt met up with his girlfriend and they discussed their situation. At the end of their luncheon, they broke up. Today, the two are on still on good terms and call each other from time to time. At the end of the interview, Ira speaks on behalf of the girlfriend that she felt that even before the suggesting and starting the “trial”, the relationship would have ended anyways. Both persons agreed that the relationship had run its course, and that both were scared and relieved to take on this challenge.  For most of us, this situation may be a dream or a ridiculous endeavor. Some of us may point out that if they had to question the strength of the relationship, then that’s an obvious road sign to end the relationship. Others may enjoy and celebrate the adventure the couple took on. Nevertheless, this example points out that not every relationship is the same. We make or break our relationships. 

Whether we were in love, or are in love now, every relationship has its own unique course.  Kristy’s behavior regarding this past relationship may have been wild, but there’s an appreciation for her passion and open heart. Kurt’s thirteen year relationship may have ended due to the forced infidelity agreed by both parties, but at the end, the couple agreed that even without this challenge, the relationship would have been broken off.  The trial only confirmed it. The title of this weekly podcast may have been misleading to audience members who hoped for stories of successful love and romantic gestures to significant others, but the title really evokes the true message of love. Our circumstances differ from one another, and that's especially true when it comes to relationships. Not every relationship will be the same and neither will our affections for one another be identical. The podcast covered two stories of the struggles and fight for love. The majority of the young adults including myself are not experts of this subject, but there is a common ground; whether we have lost it, experienced it, have it now, or never have felt it before, the idea that love is out there is strangely gratifying, and it gives us hope.